Codependency Relationships - Codependent
However, when we always put the other first in our adult relationships, at the expense of our own health or well-being, we may be codependent. How do you know if you have a loving relationship or one that is codependent? The answer is that if you constantly submerge your wishes for the wishes of. Experts say codependent relationships are damaging — here are 8 that in a healthy relationship, it's normal to depend on your partner for.
The answer is that if you constantly submerge your wishes for the wishes of another or fear asserting what you may wish, then, you may be in a very self destructive relationship. One example of the way this works is the following: This can refer to the man or the woman but, in my experience, it is women who most often become embroiled in a self destructive relationship. The woman has a talent for finding men who do not want marriage and say so from the onset.Love Addiction and Codependency
Ignoring this early warning, she sets for herself and for him, the goal of changing his mind and winning his hand in marriage. Having set this goal, she is also sensitive to any type of behavior that feels like rejection.
In fact, she even expects it, probably based on past experiences with men, and she asks for reassurance.
Is It Love Or Codependency? Let's Have A Dialogue
At first, some reassurance is given. However, the very next time he has either a trip or dinner that is business in nature, she becomes suspicious and expects that he is attempting to avoid or reject her. Then, her demandingness becomes more strident.
- Symptoms of Codependency
- How to Fix an Addicted and Codependent Relationship
Because this is a man who is not particularly interested in an exclusive or monogamous relationship, he experiences her nagging as more than he can tolerate and he begins to pull away. She becomes more shrill in her demands and displays of emotion. It is not unusual for the relationship to come to a disastrous end.
Sometimes, the couple manages to find their way through dating and courting and do get married. However, marriage does not relieve her insecurity and need for reassurance that she is loved.
The presence of a family member suffering from a chronic mental or physical illness. Dysfunctional families do not acknowledge that problems exist. As a result, family members learn to repress emotions and disregard their own needs.
The identity and emotional development of the members of a dysfunctional family are often inhibited Attention and energy focus on the family member who is ill or addicted. The co-dependent person typically sacrifices his or her needs to take care of a person who is sick. How Do Co-dependent People Behave? Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better.
How to Fix an Addicted and Codependent Relationship | Willingway
They go out of their way and sacrifice their own needs to accommodate other people. Boundaries are sort of an imaginary line between you and others. They have blurry or weak boundaries.
Some codependents have rigid boundaries. They are closed off and withdrawn, making it hard for other people to get close to them. Sometimes, people flip back and forth between having weak boundaries and having rigid ones.
If someone says something you disagree with, you either believe it or become defensive. Another effect of poor boundaries is that if someone else has a problem, you want to help them to the point that you give up yourself.
Control helps codependents feel safe and secure. Everyone needs some control over events in their life. Codependents also need to control those close to them, because they need other people to behave in a certain way to feel okay. In fact, people-pleasing and care-taking can be used to control and manipulate people. Codependents have trouble when it comes to communicating their thoughts, feelings and needs.
Symptoms of Codependency
Communication becomes dishonest and confusing when you try to manipulate the other person out of fear. Codependents have a tendency to spend their time thinking about other people or relationships. This is caused by their dependency and anxieties and fears.