One Book Down, Two More to Go: Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter 26 - Bad Books, Good Times
Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter 26 – The end, except for the part where it's not. . Probably won't be meeting any billionaire CEOs, will I? . Lor: Grey writes her a check and announces that Taylor can take her home. to announce that Sweeney and I have decided to continue on with the series, after a short break in October. I'm sure spanking is first-level kink by Christian Grey standards. Do I dare take even Well I do, dang it! My eyes continue to lock in to him. I then rise up to meet him, kissing him sweetly on the lips. He hums in Taylor will text me as soon as he and your mother make it home," he assures me. Yeah, calm. Grey retells Fifty Shades of Grey from Christian's perspective Meet Fifty Shades , the short story at the end of Fifty Shades Freed? 'It's the home of Shakespeare , Austen, the Bronte sisters, Thomas Hardy. .. probably be asleep, I pick up the Detroit report and continue reading. Thursday, May 26,
After a few kisses, Grey whisper-suggests sex on the piano and Ana whisper-answers that first she needs some clarification. You just want me to follow the Rules element of the contract all the time but not the rest of the contract? I want you to follow the spirit of the contract in the playroom, and yes, I want you to follow the rules — all the time. That you are just taking away the little detail where she signs the legally unenforceable piece of paper, right?
Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter 26 – The end, except for the part where it’s not.
This has nothing to do with Ana being safe. And, on the off chance it does, he probably needs her to be safe because if she dies, he has to find a new punching bag. Because I love you! James and whichever asshole at her publishing company first decided to publish this book.
Grey scurries off to fetch them for her. Ana goes to the kitchen in the meanwhile to get some tea and take her pill. Maybe she should turn on a light? Oh, wait that was a metaphor? Ana rolls her eyes and-oh great.
My least favorite time of the day: Ana says that if Grey wants to spank her, then he has to catch her first and they start like, playing tag in the kitchen. That seems like so long ago! Those were more innocent times for everyone. But about her Nikes and the fucking race track in her mind: I wonder what would happen if I went around in real life telling people there was a race track in my mind.
This is actually a reasonable thing to say, meaning Ana takes it back in like 2 seconds. That was in a different context, and I can rationalize that internally, and I trust you. Instead, he goes in for the manipukiss and starts begging Ana not to leave. I no longer have words and will have to express the remainder of my feelings in gif form: I want to know how bad it can get. Up the two go to the playroom. He is doing this, he explains, so that Ana remembers never to run from him.
Grey starts hitting Ana. By hit number five, Ana thinks she hates Grey and by number six, all the tears. Ana asks if this is really what he likes- her hurt and crying. What the hell was she expecting, exactly? Ana tells Grey he needs to sort his shit out, leaves the playroom and goes to her room.
At this, I just wanted to pull up the post with all the finger guns, because there is nothing else to say here. This is not news. Less rage and more general annoyance, because she is the moron who continues to be surprised by things that have not changed.
Except, then, in her room, reflecting on what just happens, she feels guilty for having yelled at him: I was so cruel, so shocked by the savagery. Oh, this is a dark morning of the soul for me. Her inner-crazies are disappearing all over the place and apparently the darkness in the kitchen has spread to her soul.
That is amazing, my God! Grey enters the room and asks Ana not to hate him and not to fight him as he holds her in his arms. They stay that way for a while, with Ana crying and then crying less and then thinking about how good looking Grey is, because this is the appropriate time for that. Oh thank God, it's the end of the chapter and Anastasia has disappeared in a cloud of grammatically improbable metaphor.
Best lines from Chapter Three "My hair is wet from my shower, but I don't give a shit. They really are beautiful, the colour of the ocean at Cabo, the bluest of blue seas. I should take her there. I'd like to see the places that inspired those people to write such wonderful books. She's mad at me, pouring all the contempt she can into each syllable of my name. And I don't want her to go.
Christian has a security guard called Barry! Has anyone in the history of America ever named their child Barry? Perhaps he came over on the security guard exchange programme. Christian has had more terrible dreams, which require staring hatefully at himself in the mirror, drinking a glass of water, and then leaving it in the sink for the housekeeper to clear up.
You're a grown man, Christian, put your own damn cup in the dishwasher. Wonderful, glorious scenes of him picking out exactly which first edition to give to Anastasia "I love books! Never had I thought I needed an in-depth description of how a billionaire businessman chooses which "blank notecard" to write a note in, but now I know.
He also replaces the first editions with more first editions because he is minted. Most of Christian's staff fancy him, probably because he insists on hiring "tall willowy girls with a pretty face" who really fancy him, but walk around looking sad about it.
This is fairly boring. Christian has not been anywhere near his Red Room of Pain, not even to change the batteries. But then so do I, for different reasons. Yes, I like to possess things, things that will rise in value, like first editions. Let's see what our NGO friends come back with. This is so dull. Oh, good, his mad dude brother Elliot has turned up and they're going on holiday. Elliot speaks like someone who has been artificially created in a lab staffed by Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles and Beavis and Butthead.
Elliot, a swordsman by trade, doesn't appear to have any idea of how women get pregnant. Use a condom, Elliot! Good grief, no wonder Anastasia has no idea about birth control, this entire world is filled with lunatics. Speaking of lunatics, our favourite clumsy-charming Miss Steele gets her beautiful first editions and rings Christian to shout at him. This is the bit where she's had two beers and is suddenly wasted. Christian and Elliot drive off to Portland to rescue Anastasia. Christian dismissed "some indie crap" on the sound system saying "it makes me feel old.
Christian is what - 28? Any year-old confronted with old indie music would be delighted. Ana voms - chunderation ahoy! Christian treats the whole thing as though she's borderline AA, forgetting that she is a student, and this is what students are essentially bred to do in between essays.
He takes Ana back to his place, because she only has one-and-a-half friends and one of them is getting it on with creepy Elliot the dude swordsman. The emails between Christian and Ana have started. I'd forgotten about the ridiculously detailed emails. Best lines from Chapter Five "Dude. I need to get out of Seattle this weekend. This chick is all over my junk and I've got to get away.
Anxiety blooms in my gut. She's a young woman, drunk, somewhere in Portland. I am already more bored than I have ever been in my life, but I dipped into the middle anyway. There is sex ahead, people! It isn't just Christian Grey and his Sleep Cycle app. The first page of Chapter Six is Christian watching Ana sleep. I realise this was totally okay in Twilight because Edward Cullen is a vampire, and doesn't sleep, but this is just creepy with humans.
There is much made of how Anastasia is the first woman he has ever "slept" with instead of just tying up with cable ties and rutting with til the cows come home. She passed out on a bed. Raise your expectations, Christian! Christian, who almost had quite a convincing voice in the earlier chapters, is now a robot armed with Debrett's, and a dictionary. In the space of four pars we have sentient, receptive, modus operandi, diverting and conciliatory. I want Grey on my team next time we play Bananagrams!
Anastasia is by turns startled, whispering, eyes widening, blurting, and small voiced. At one point James goes the whole hog and just calls her a startled fawn. Christian introduces Anastasia to the vague idea of contracts and snogging with teeth, but before anything can happen it's time to prance around in Charlie Tango, his big chopper. His other chopper keeps being described as "twitching", which makes me desperately hope he calls it Bill Oddie. Literally the only way this long, long description of helicoptering could be interesting is if they were on their way to Isla Nublar.
The discussion over the NDA Anastasia needs to sign in order to become Christian's submissive is another cut and paste, chat-heavy scene where there's too much dialogue to add much on Christian's side, bar his disapproval over Anastasia's lack of appetite.
They're finally going at it! Wow, I'd forgotten the amazing language of these sex scenes. I'd also forgotten that Anastasia, in addition to having one-and-a-half friends, no appetite and being human Bambi, has never masturbated before. This would never happen in a post-Caitlin Moran world. I'd also forgotten that in between moans, shouts, cries and sentences That. Christian is a responsible lover who uses condoms.
Kudos to James for making more of this. God this is a very, very long chapter. I've f many, but to wake up beside an alluring young woman is a new and stimulating experience. Idly, I wonder what it would be like to braid. What can I do with a virgin? I glare at her as fury surges through my body. She's probably never seen an erect penis before. If I can't fit into my wedding dress next month, it will be Sexy Bambi's bloody fault.
Chapter Seven begins promisingly, with the best first line I've ever read ever. It is, naturally awful. My mind keeps floating off to Barry, the security guard.
How are your children, Barry? Christian has another Mommy dream written in short. Emotion is heavily implied. Anastasia isn't hungry again! Oh, sweet, breakable, clumsy Anastasia! More shagging, this time in the bath.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I rather miss the Inner Goddess. Sex, even in a bath, from Christian's point of view, reads like a really awkward biology teacher forced to give the fifth years an advanced sex ed class. It couldn't be more clinical if you trussed Anastasia up with a stethoscope.
Lots of mentions of how young Anastasia looks in braids.
She's 21, she's hardly mutton. I'd completely forgotten that Anastasia meets Christian's mother just after they'd bonked. No wonder this relationship is confused. I'd also forgotten that Anastasia keeps talking about going to chat to Kate, one of her one-and-a-half friends, to get an advanced birds and bees talk.
Go on the internet like everyone else! Wasn't there Twitter in ? And you had better be playing Radio Nowhere. Christian takes Anastasia out for a post-bonk post-meeting mum brunch and shows more of his exquitely generalistic taste in wine by ordering "the pinot grigio". Later, he celebrates finishing work by taking a sip of "the fine Sancerre.
Oh good, more emails. He's bought technophobe Ana a new computer. Oh well, at least all James needs to do for the next chapter is copy and paste from the first book.
Best lines from Chapter Seven "I wake with a start and a pervading sense of guilt, as if I've committed a terrible sin. Is it because I've f Anastasia Steele? She will be a joy to train. My cock twitches in agreement. It will go well with the meal, whatever we get. It's a book by two renowned economists who examine why the poor think and behave the way they do. You so good with words, Christian! His exact schedule with timings follows, and by 7.
Fifty Shades of Grey – Chapter 26
Then something genuinely exciting: I am actually quite looking foward to this. Their relationship was far more interesting than the one involving shouty, inner goddess-led Anastasia. This bit must have been easy for James at least: Grey pops out for a run and listens to the Foo Fighters. He must be gutted about Glastonbury. Being her, she probably skipped the Wikipedia entry, or any first person pieces, and went straight to RedTube.
50 Shades of Grey chapter 26 recap or “The end! The end! My god yes, yes, yes, the end!”
She throws a colossal strop and stops emailing Christian. Best lines from Chapter Eight: It's ambitious but few of my business ventures matter more than this one and I'm excited about it. Bringing affordable first world technology to the third world is something I'm determined to do.
Well to hell with that. It'll be more drinkable with the ice. Miss Steele can be a bossy little thing. Miss Steele is topping from the bottom, and she doesn't even know it. And fool that I am, I'm letting her. I feel Majestic could really make a killing here. Ooh, Anastasia has sent him the sub-dom contract back with notes. The publishers have lovingly formatted this to look like a real contract again, giving me hideous flashbacks to my mortgage application.
More lovely copy and paste for James to do in between rolling around in millions, chortling. Someone called Marco is being seriously slow on the uptake. I have no idea who Marco is, but I would fear for his job. More emails between Ana and Christian. Some deeply tedious chat about helping Tenacious Katherine Kavanagh and Anastasia to move house. James was probably out building a money snowman at this point. Best lines from Chapter Nine "It dawns on my that this is the first time I haven't had to consider the sexual history of a partner.
Well, that's on advantage of screwing a virgin. Forget about her for today. I have a job to do and a breakfast meeting to attend. In really exciting news, Ana eats some food! Christian is a billionaire after all. This is not a good example to be setting to prospective sexy Bambis, Anastasia.
Email takes a bajillion years to come through. This is just not technologically viable. There is no place for Noel Edmonds in this scenario!