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He was a divorced, non-smoking Catholic and Spanish-to-French translator in the textbook industry. Just over six feet tall, his credentials included photographs that were not blurry and taken by someone other than himself. He was handsome, wore glasses, was going slightly gray, and edged a little on the nerdy side: In my late twenties, my live-in boyfriend dumped me and kicked me out of his apartment.

I was convinced that God was keeping a tally of my sexual indiscretions and punishing me for them. Though I knew it would be hard, I vowed to live more chastely, determined to curb any libidinous activity until I was at least in a solid relationship with a decent Christian man. On our first date, Patrick suggested we take a Sunday afternoon walk on the Highline after our respective church services.

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As I climbed the last of the steps to the top of the old train platform, I recognized him right away. For a tall girl like me, heaven. He taught me some French phrases and I tried to impress him with the few words I already knew.

I sounded as if I were reading off the menu from Le Pain Quotidian, but he humored me with applause. As we walked, he opened up, admitting that he occasionally still worked with his ex-wife, whom he met while studying in Mexico City. I imagined a sun-bronzed goddess in an off-the-shoulder peasant blouse. I pictured them sitting together at a desk, poring over social science proofs and speaking secret words to each other.

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I knew how hard it was to be outside of a pair, especially in our faith. The people who wrote the Bible never expected modern Christians to stay single so long, or get divorced, for that matter.

black christian mingle meet

We agreed to meet again a few nights later, and took a walk around his neighborhood in Washington Heights. The sun was just dipping below the horizon when we arrived at his church, Mother Cabrini on Fort Washington Avenue. A habit I picked up in Paris.

But I knew he would expect more. And so would I, in spite of myself.