3 Adoptees Reveal What It Was Like To Meet Their Birth Parents For The First Time | Thought Catalog
A photographer captures the exact moment parents meet their adopted baby. Adoption experts say first-time meetings between adult adoptees and their birth parents are becoming more common among the more than five. It's only natural for children who were adopted to be curious about their birth parents So when he met his biological parents for the first time.
Here, 10 adoptive parents share what it was like to meet their children for the very first time.
3 Adoptees Reveal What It Was Like To Meet Their Birth Parents For The First Time
From blissful to fearful, here's what they felt. For author Debra Monroe, meeting daughter Marie, now 14, was full of fits and starts. Her first glimpse of the top of Marie's head was through a Texas hospital window. I had a more erratic process than a lot of adoptive parents have. So I tried not to think anything for three hours [in the nursery], to just be present, to trust that the right baby would come at the right time," Monroe says.
Holy cow, you're kidding. They've returned to that hospital window and celebrated birthdays visiting adoption agencies. Being an interracial family helped them address adoption early and honestly, Monroe believes. A child somewhere needed a mother. Two problems with one happy ending. Pale, bleary eyed and the most beautiful baby they'd ever seen After two years of waiting and three excruciating flights to a Russian town on the border of China, Meg Rhem and her husband, Don, sat on a ratty couch in the orphanage, waiting to meet their child.
When parents meet their adopted baby for the first time
When a nurse carried her in, they were "enervated and exhausted and on the verge of overwhelmed," Meg recalls. She was so beautiful! Don was a rookie. We had no idea what to do about this.
There was no handy box of Kleenex.
Then [the adoption agent] walked over to us, tutted at Laney sweetly, and then just grabbed the snot off her face with a bare hand. To feel her little body in my arms! To feel suddenly this connection with this beautiful girl! And to realize that being a mother means you're likely to end up with a handful of snot at some point, and that I couldn't wait to be that lady.
Raw, awkward and heartbreaking Bringing home a little boy from Ethiopia has not been all sunshine and roses, says Julie M. It is raw and real, she recalls about the first moments with her son, who is now a part of the family with Julie, her husband and young daughter.
When parents meet their adopted baby for the first time - Today's Parent
I wanted to be the biggest strongest mother ever Her son's biological mother, a family member in jail and struggling with a heroin addiction, signed over custody to Waarvik and her partner, Jennie Flanigan. I've never felt so protective, I just knew he needed us and we needed him. Jennie and I look at each other all of the time and say, 'I can't imagine if someone else had him.
I was very overwhelmed, but also smiling so hard Jones went through two-and-a-half years of in vitro treatments and an emergency C-section before delivering her daughter. Tragically, the baby suffered a brain bleed and died hours later in her mother's arms.
Jones was hit with a wall of depression until she realized she had a great life that she wanted to share. She opted for adoption and was in the delivery room when baby Faith was born.
But she had no more children, and a difficult marriage, and wanted more from me than I could give. I certainly found it niggled away at the relationship. Over time, it became clear that she made a lot of things up, which wasn't endearing.
After about 10 years, I'd had enough — although every two years, I'd give it another go. I remember one guy who had a fantastic relationship with his birth mother, but when his own child reached nine months, he got really angry.
He looked at his son and thought, how could you have given me up? Other issues can arise — the difficulty of divided loyalties with adoptive and birth relatives, for example. There's no doubt that the road gets bumpy. I remember her putting some money and essentials in a bedside drawer for me, as well as giving me keys to her tiny council flat. To me, this was huge — I felt I had this place to go where I was really wanted. One night it all came to a head when she got seriously drunk on a shared holiday.
Things were never the same. When my 30th birthday came and she didn't send a card, I thought, she has done this three times now — once when I was born, once when we didn't have contact for a year after a previous drinking episode and now this. In the late s, Philippa made contact with the daughter she had given up in the s as an unmarried teenage mother.
When Philippa first contacted her daughter via an intermediary, she wrote back saying she didn't want contact, but was happy to say that she was OK.