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MEET THE SPARTANS nude scenes - 5 images and 2 videos - including CARMEN ELECTRA in MEET THE SPARTANS () KAGNEY LINN KARTER NUDE/SEXY SCENE IN MY BAD ROMANCE recommended movies. Who would win in a fight, , Spartan warriors or 7, U.S. troops? . When the soldiers in the tank exit their hot cauldron to scout for water, the If luck were with the crew, they could probably meet a few Spartans on the way I can think of nothing better for this than this passage from Iain M. Banks' novel Excession. The Spartans: Cold War at the Hot Gates But back in Sparta, the ephors resist his effort to raise the Spartan army. . The acting is the usual turgid 50s style, the female characters are good for nothing except being love . He sports multiple piercings, and in one scene he touches Leonidas' shoulders in a rather.
And 2 has a lot of problems to it. So this movie sort of bookends It opens before it, and then the events of happen, and then the second half of the movie takes place. The film opens with the battle of Marathon. Instead of engaging in hoplite warfare, the Greeks just charge the Persians and fight one on one, more or less the way the Spartans fight for most of The Persians sail home which takes a month, according to the filmand a week later, Artemesia comes to visit Darius, and finds him with the arrow still in his chest.
She pulls it out and he dies. This is so utterly, inexplicably silly that I laughed out loud in the theater. Surely in the month that it took the Persians to sail home, one of the medics would have noticed that their king still had an arrow in his chest. Standard medical practice would have been, at bare minimum, to snap the arrow off close to the skin, so as to avoid aggravating the injury by jarring the arrow.
They probably would have tried to cut the arrow out, but I suppose, given that the patient is the king, they might have been reluctant to try that because it stands a good chance of killing him. Then the movie jumps forward toand the lead-up to Thermopylae. The Athenians and some allies have put together a tiny fleet of about 30 ships and are frantically trying to get the Spartans to commit their ships.
If the Jamaicans can have a bobsled team, the Spartans can have a huge navy. In the first battle, Themistokles employs a standard tactic of having his ships form up into a circle facing outward, a formation known as a kyklos. A kyklos made it difficult to ram the defending ships, because there was no way to come at them from the side. But we do need to give the film some credit for showing an actual historical tactic.
Despite the kyklos, a couple of Greek ships do manage to engage the Persian fleet and they do in fact ram them, from both sides as once, even because, as Themistokles explains, the Persian ships are weak in the middle. But the ramming seems to be just a tactic to get the Greek ships close enough that the foot soldiers on the deck can climb onto the Persian ship and start killing people. But Themistokles is a pretty clever guy, so I guess he thought up the idea first.
In the second battle, Themistokles is even more cunning. When Artemesia, who happens to be in complete command of the Persian navy instead of the five ships she actually commandedsends some ships to engage the Greeks, Themistokles somehow calls up a bank of fog seriously, it just happens, unless I missed somethingand then, even more cunningly, he calls up an extremely narrow strait of rocks.
Then he discovers that the Greeks have somehow crammed a galley into the strait sideways. But because the film makes absolutely no set-up whatsoever that there is coastline nearby or that fog is setting in, the audience is left to conclude that Themistokles has magically conjured them out of thin air.
Oh, and as a friend pointed out to me, Themistokles essentially just pops off to Sparta for a few minutes, when in fact the journey would have taken a fairly substantial amount of time, given that Greece is a very rocky region. So in the third naval battle, the Greeks sail into a trap of sorts. The Persians have an ironclad, driven apparently by a bunch of guys turning enormous capstans. Oh, and it sprays a thick black liquid which might be crude oil, but which I think is actually supposed to be Greek fire.
You know, that proto-napalm stuff that the Greeks invented about a thousand years later. I guess they got the idea from the Persians. So the Greek ships get all oily, and Artemesia sends her personal bodyguard to swim up to the Greek ships wearing backpacks filled with explosives that require Persian fire-arrows to detonate. I swear I am not making this shit up—the screenwriters are. Oh, and during the battle, Aeschylus gets fatally wounded and dies soon after the battle.
Apparently someone ghost-wrote The Persians for him. Finally we get to the battle of Salamis, or at least what ought to be Salamis in this story. Xerxes is reluctant to fight, but Artemesia wants to punish Themistokles, so she calls Xerxes a pussy and the battle gets to happen.
The Greeks are down to something like six ships, while the Persians have thousands left. The plucky Greeks stand and fight in the open sea, because, you know, actually fighting near Salamis would be unsporting or something.
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Perhaps they should have worn some armor instead of just those spiffy blue cloaks. Apart from the ramming of ships, almost everything about the fight scenes is wrong. It takes a lot to make a movie about naval combat and get the terrain wrong. I got out of the theater without a headache. And all that puts this film miles ahead of Scott of The New York Times describes as "about as violent as Apocalypto and twice as stupid," while criticizing its color scheme and suggesting that its plot includes racist undertones; Scott also poked fun at the buffed bodies of the actors portraying the Spartans, declaring that the Persian characters are "pioneers in the art of face-piercing", but that the Spartans had access to "superior health clubs and electrolysis facilities".
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Comic Book Resources ' Mark Cronan found the film compelling, leaving him "with a feeling of power, from having been witness to something grand. The historical consensus, both among ancient chroniclers and current scholars, was that Thermopylae was a clear Greek defeat; the Persian invasion would be pushed back in later ground and naval battles.
The Spartans' use of the narrow terrain, in those particular circumstances, is a military tactic known as " defeat in detail ". Paul CartledgeProfessor of Greek History at Cambridge Universityadvised the filmmakers on the pronunciation of Greek names, and said they "made good use" of his published work on Sparta. He praises the film for its portrayal of "the Spartans' heroic code", and of "the key role played by women in backing up, indeed reinforcing, the male martial code of heroic honour", while expressing reservations about its "'West' goodies vs 'East' baddies polarization".
He suggests that the film's moral universe would have seemed "as bizarre to ancient Greeks as it does to modern historians". He remarks that SimonidesAeschylusand Herodotus viewed Thermopylae as a battle against "Eastern centralism and collective serfdom", which opposed "the idea of the free citizen of an autonomous polis ".
Some passages from the Classical authors AeschylusDiodorusHerodotus and Plutarch are split over the movie to give it an authentic flavor. Aeschylus becomes a major source when the battle with the "monstrous human herd" of the Persians is narrated in the film. Diodorus' statement about Greek valor to preserve their liberty is inserted in the film, but his mention of Persian valor is omitted.
Herodotus' fanciful numbers are used to populate the Persian army, and Plutarch's discussion of Greek women, specifically Spartan women, is inserted wrongly in the dialogue between the " misogynist " Persian ambassador and the Spartan king. Classical sources are certainly used, but exactly in all the wrong places, or quite naively. The Athenians were fighting a sea battle during this. It's about the romanticizing of the Spartan 'ideal', a process that began even in ancient times, was promoted by the Romans, and has survived over time while less and less resembling the actual historical Sparta.
It's just in the visualization that it's crazy… I've shown this movie to world-class historians who have said it's amazing. They can't believe it's as accurate as it is. That's what I say when people say it's historically inaccurate". He also describes the film's narrator, Dilios, as "a guy who knows how not to wreck a good story with truth".
I took those chest plates and leather skirts off of them for a reason. I wanted these guys to move and I wanted 'em to look good. I knocked their helmets off a fair amount, partly so you can recognize who the characters are. Spartans, in full regalia, were almost indistinguishable except at a very close angle. Another liberty I took was, they all had plumes, but I only gave a plume to Leonidas, to make him stand out and identify him as a king.
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I was looking for more an evocation than a history lesson. The best result I can hope for is that if the movie excites someone, they'll go explore the histories themselves. Because the histories are endlessly fascinating. Kaveh Farrokh in a paper entitled "The Movie: Separating Fact from Fiction"  notes that the film falsely portrays "the Greco-Persian Wars in binary terms: He highlights three points regarding the contribution of the Achaemenid Empire to the creation of democracy and human rights.
This was the first time in history that a world power had guaranteed the survival of the Jewish people, religion, customs and culture. Snyder relates that there was "a huge sensitivity about East versus West with the studio.
The New York Post 's Kyle Smith wrote that the film would have pleased " Adolf 's boys,"  and Slate 's Dana Stevens compares the film to The Eternal Jew"as a textbook example of how race-baiting fantasy and nationalist myth can serve as an incitement to total war. Newsday critic Gene Seymour, on the other hand, stated that such reactions are misguided, writing that "the movie's just too darned silly to withstand any ideological theorizing.
They were the biggest slave owners in Greece. But at the same time, Spartan women had an unusual level of rights. It's a paradox that they were a bunch of people who in many ways were fascistbut they were the bulwark against the fall of democracy. The closest comparison you can draw in terms of our own military today is to think of the red-caped Spartans as being like our special-ops forces. They're these almost superhuman characters with a tremendous warrior ethicwho were unquestionably the best fighters in Greece.
I didn't want to render Sparta in overly accurate terms, because ultimately I do want you to root for the Spartans. I couldn't show them being quite as cruel as they were. I made them as cruel as I thought a modern audience could stand. Leonidas points out that his hunched back means Ephialtes cannot lift his shield high enough to fight in the phalanx. This is a transparent defence of Spartan eugenicsand convenient given that infanticide could as easily have been precipitated by an ill-omened birthmark.
Chemers, author of "'With Your Shield, or on It': Disability Representation in " in the Disability Studies Quarterly, said that the film's portrayal of the hunchback and his story "is not mere ableism: It would be much more classically Spartan if Leonidas laughed and kicked him off the cliff.
Snyder said of Xerxes: Officials of the Iranian government  denounced the film. Azadeh Moaveni of Time reported, "All of Tehran was outraged.
Everywhere I went yesterday, the talk vibrated with indignation over the film". Ayende-Noan independent Iranian newspaper, said that "[t]he film depicts Iranians as demons, without culture, feeling or humanity, who think of nothing except attacking other nations and killing people".
First, she describes the timing of the film's release, on the eve of Norouzthe Persian New Yearas "inauspicious. Moaveni also suggests that "the box office success ofcompared with the relative flop of Alexander another spurious period epic dealing with Persiansis cause for considerable alarm, signaling ominous U.
Since it's a product of the post-ideological, post- Xbox 21st century, will instead be talked about as a technical achievement, the next blip on the increasingly blurry line between movies and video games.