Jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

7 Tips for Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships

jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

Being insecure in relationship is an obsession. Nip it in the bud before it becomes a monster. Read here to know how to overcome jealousy in a. How to stop being jealous today before this relationship parasite eats away your love life. Fear makes for feelings of insecurity. When fear lessens, so does. Many times beneath the feelings of jealously in a relationship are our own insecurities — and this could either be personal insecurities you.

While jealousy and insecurity are normal emotions, when adults express them negatively they can come off as petty and childish. It's key to express feelings of jealousy and insecurity in a mature way. If there is no reason to think that your partner is doing anything out of order, calmly clue them in to how their behavior is triggering negative feelings in you.

jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

Take ownership of how you're feeling and acknowledge their lack of intent to hurt you. Confronting your feelings this way can lead to the two of you making some simple adjustments in your relationship so that you feel more comfortable. Well, when someone repeatedly hurts you after you've confronted their behavior and won't make adjustments to help you feel more secure, that doesn't sound like an ideal relationship for you to be in. Why remain in a relationship that lacks safety and leaves you feeling vulnerable at every turn?

This is a great issue to raise in individual or couples therapy. You knows your girl can confidently deal with the situation so you remains calm.

There is no need to fly into a jealous rage. However play out the same situation as an insecure guy. You feels threatened by the other man. A fear arises within you that your woman could be stolen away by another man. Why do you feel this? Because you have low self esteem, no sense of self worth and do not believe that you are satisfying the emotional needs of your woman.

You fear that she could be swept away by another man at any time. And now it's happening right in front of you. Remember I said that insecurity is an internal state of mind, while jealousy is something that is triggered by external circumstances.

The other man hitting on your girl is the external trigger that gives rise to the feeling of jealousy.

jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

Yet the fear that your girl could leave you because you don't think you are good enough is insecurity. The jealousy was triggered by your rival, but it wasn't really caused by him. It was already within you.

At the root of jealousy lies fear of loss. Like many jealous partners, Kevin feared loss of their relationship, loss of self-respect, even loss of 'face' fearing how his friends would see him if he were to be 'made a fool of'. Fear makes for feelings of insecurity. When fear lessens, so does jealousy. More than feelings of fear, jealousy also leads to a smorgasbord of other emotions such as anger, hate of love 'rivals', disgust sometimes self-disgustand hopelessness. So why might a person be jealous?

Kevin's ex-wife had cheated on him and he felt he'd never got over this. We're told it's great to have 'a good imagination', but he was using his to torment himself.

How can jealousy and insecurity affect my relationship?

Of course, if your partner is continually sexually active with other people, then jealousy is totally justified. And perhaps the whole relationship needs to be re-evaluated. But here I want to focus on helping you if you feel unduly jealous that's to say, there is no real or proper evidence that your partner is or has been unfaithful to you. These tips also focus on sexual jealousy rather than, say, being jealous of the amount of time your partner spends with their mother or kids.

Overcoming Jealousy

So how can we start to break the jealousy cycle, reclaim self-control, and stop driving our partners and ourselves crazy? Yes, take them at their word. If they do lie to you, then they are not making a fool out of anyone but themselves - remember that.

It's been said that trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. It's very insulting for your partner to have you always doubting their word or decency of behaviour.

7 Tips for Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships

Constant questioning by you can even be as destructive as having an affair in the long run. You'll still distrust your partner for a while out of sheer habitbut find the strength to start acting as if you believe them. If you've been checking that they really were where they said they've been, then stop doing that. When they tell you they love you, believe them.

Save 2 Easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to others Some not all jealousy is driven by low self-esteem. I don't understand how someone like them could be attracted to someone like me! Does the Mona Lisa painting know why it is so valuable?

Of course, you may be able to appreciate attractive qualities in yourself, but consider this: There are better looking, richer, funnier, smarter, younger people around than just about all of us, but these are qualities of a 'product'.

If he or she loves you, it will be because of an extra, indefinable quality you have that they couldn't even explain - some deep part of your humanity they connected to which transcends looks, youth, wealth, and so forth. Some of the most loved people in history have been well down the list when it comes to looks or wealth.

Stop trying to 'work out' why they can possibly like you. People with quite high self-esteem can experience intense jealousy if they tend to feel they themselves must always be the centre of things.

jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

People like this tend to look at other people as material property. And maybe they just don't want to share that 'property', even as far as letting their partner innocently smile or socialize with another person.

Perhaps as a kid they were a little spoilt.

  • Why Jealousy And Insecurity Are Not The Same